Trump Easily Trumped


Jay Cole image

Humor is our most enjoyable form of truth.

Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus is wrong; politics is The Greatest Show on Earth. However, I would never run for political office. I prefer being a spectator because of my philosophical objections.

Moses Pray: I got scruples too, you know. You know what that is? Scruples?
Addie Loggins: No, I don’t know what it is, but if you got ’em, it’s a sure bet they belong to somebody else!
– Paper Moon, Paramount Pictures, 1973

One of the great things about America is that every citizen born here may run for the highest office in the land. According to the Federal Election Commission, 1697 people have registered as 2016 candidates for president, including four Trumps. One of which is registered as a Communist Party candidate with the full-name, “Don’t Vote For Trump.”

You gotta love democracy in action!

Currently, the only remaining, viable Republican in the race for president is a businessman\reality TV star\author\billionaire who many believe would gladly plaster his name on Trump’s Ebola if he thought it would sell. However, that’s not entirely fair—as an actor, Trump also appeared in several movies.

While Trump has been scrutinized, praised and pilloried by the media, to my knowledge, no one has adequately highlighted Mr. Trump’s major flaw:

He’s a freakin’ businessman!

With four bankruptcies, it’s even arguable whether or not he’s a good businessman. However, Mr. Trump noted that filing for bankruptcy is a common business decision, which is true. Many shrewdly run businesses file bankruptcy due to circumstances beyond their control, such as scandalous executive salaries and bonuses that suck up all the cash reserves of a business before the CEO screws the shareholders, the employees, and the pooch in order to reap additional tax benefits.

We should all be so lucky.

I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.
– Francois Rabelais, Last Will and Testament

Fortunately, the US government has no bankruptcy option. Even Trump can’t bankrupt an institution that prints money.

Again, that’s not entirely fair. If elected, Trump would have to go to congress for budget approval, and lately our gridlocked congressmen couldn’t pass a bran muffin.

However, the most obvious danger with a businessman in the White House:

He’s an amateur!

Even with a great support staff, Trump is still a political novice. If you seriously believe that senators and congressmen, many of whom have been working the system for 30+ years, can’t easily outmaneuver any neophyte who waltzes onto Capitol Hill, then you’re deluding yourself. The old guard on the hill will eat Mr. Trump’s lunch, leaving him nothing but humble pie.

Perhaps you believe that you can’t con a con?

Actually, you can. It’s been done many times. Trump has no immunity, especially in a game that he’s never played. Washington is not Wall Street, but Trump’s narcissism will likely lead him to believe that he’s in charge. However, neither the congress nor the courts answer to the president, and they can’t be told, “You’re fired!”

Consider also the quite believable rumor that treachery was invented in the Senate cloakrooms.

Welcome to Washington; wear a cup!

Book Cover image

“Hilarious!”

There’s actually precedent supporting my cynicism. Our 31st president, Herbert Hoover was a millionaire businessman. His relationship with congress (well documented) was difficult at best, and you may have heard the fairly common expression, “Hoover, damn!”

Would a President Trump also be a one-term, little-remembered, and not very respected president? It’s likely.

Again, that’s not entirely fair. Most world leaders don’t respect him now.

However, there’s no shame in what is basically a fish out of water situation. Kafka wouldn’t make a good nanny, and Trump won’t ever be an Oval Office All Star.

BOTTOM LINE: It’s entirely possible that:

  • The vastly more experienced politicians on the hill will make Trump their bitch.
  • Trump’s “Art of the Deal” will be ineffective in negotiations where his personal wealth means nothing and his power is constrained by law.
  • Our allies will ignore a Trump administration and go looking for a new leader.

Wake up, Republicans! When this race heats up, the voters will definitely be looking behind the curtain at this magic show, so replacing Trump with someone more experienced is just common sense. Perhaps, David Copperfield is available.

Parting Funny: Son, if you can’t take their money, drink their whiskey, screw their women, and then vote against ’em, you don’t deserve to be here.
Sam Rayburn, 43rd Speaker of the US House of Representatives
 
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