Trump vs. Baby, The True Story

Jay Cole image

Humor is our most enjoyable form of truth.


And now for something completely different.
– Monty Python’s Flying Circus

Everyone knows what happened.


Do they?

Here’s the true story of the Trump vs. baby controversy in their own words:

Two babies talking.

Tell me what happened.

Heavily pregnant woman.

Well, you know how it is, after feeling claustrophobic for so long, I just had to get out.

Inquisitive baby.

“Mom, can we go to the Trump rally?”

Two babies "talking."

Trump? Really?

Surprised baby.

I wanted to see if he really had orange hair.

Baby orangutan

He does. Look at this picture.

Interested baby.

Freaky! Continue.

Yawning baby.

To be honest, the rally was a little boring.

Baby in elephant costume.

They only let me in because I dressed Republican.

Crying baby.

And frankly, I wasn’t having a good time.

Black baby.

I couldn’t even get tickets!

Hispanic baby.

His security people built a wall to keep me out.

Baby wearing Muslim head scarf.

He wouldn’t even let me in the country.

Surprised baby, mouth agape.

Well, believe it or not, Trump kicked me out!

Shocked baby, hands on head.

Wow! What a bastard!

Stunned baby - indeterminate expression.

I was stunned.

Baby in bathtub.

I felt so dirty.

Crying baby 2.

I wanted to cry some more.

Baby gnawing her fingers.

There was so much stress.

Baby messily eating chocolate.

I almost went back to my chocolate bar addiction.

Baby wearing clown hat.

But then I thought, “I’m not the one acting like a clown.”

Mom and baby sticking out tongue.

I told my mom, “I’ll handle this.”

Baby pointing finger.

After all, it’s his problem!

Happy baby, eyes closed.

So, I closed my eyes and imagined my revenge.

Baby, stiff lip.

I was so determined…

Crawling baby.

I got moving immediately.

Stunned baby 2.

First, I told a friend, who couldn’t believe it either.

Two stunned babies.

Then, my friends told their friends.

Two babies, facing.

Everyone spread the word.

Babies, hand on shoulder.

They encouraged me to go to the press.

Three babies seated.

So, I talked to the youngest reporters I could find at the Times, the Post and the Tribune.

Babies, Asian dress.

I even went to the foreign press.

Baby, wide smile.

Front page, baby!

Happy babies, open mouths.

Wow! We’re so proud of you.

Happy baby and dad.

So was my dad when I told him.

Sleeping baby.

But, it was an exhausting day!

Baby wearing crown.

“Who’s the king now, Donald?”

Happy babies, heads together.

I love this story. Tell it again.

All photos CC0 Public Domain from Pixabay
Book Cover image


Parting Funny: When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: ‘Fetch!.’ – Bruce Lansky
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One thought on “Trump vs. Baby, The True Story

  1. Pingback: Picture This! | Find Your Funny

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